5 Idiots You Shouldn't Feel Obligated to Date
In college I had a lot of guy friends who would tell me all about their dating exploits, failures included. Some really nice guys I knew often gave their best efforts each and every time, only to be rejected again and again. I heard them complain about it. A lot. "Girls never really gave them a chance, nice guys always finish last, yada yada yada." This kind of gave me complex and made me terrified of rejecting people.
To sum up the situation, I would go on a date with anyone who asked me that didn't seem dangerous. Sounds like good logic, right? This guy totally drives me nuts, and I'm not at all attracted to him physically. Let's see if a crappy free meal, followed by an activity that bores me to tears makes me like him more. Um no. Despite everyone telling me otherwise, this never had a chance of working out.
Friends, you should "no" whenever you feel like it. It took me a long time and several scarring experiences to figure it out. This saves you both from wasting time and money. Afraid of hurting his feelings? Trust me - If he reacts badly now, things aren't going to be any prettier when you reject him later, after you've given him a bit of false hope.
Here are a few guys you should never feel guilty about saying "no" to.
Confession: I've said yes to all of them at some point.
Someone you're not physically attracted to.
Not really sure if he's your type? Not a problem! Maybe he'll win you over with his amazing personality.
The idea of kissing him makes you want to throw up a little? Big Problem! Chances are pretty much zero that he's going to change your mind and look like Brad Pitt after a dinner out.
If you asked a guy out, and he found you physically repulsive, would you want him to say yes? I wouldn't. I'd want him to politely decline up front instead of giving me false hope. It's so much less embarrassing for everyone that way.
Any guy who tells you that you should be grateful he's asking you out.
Pig alert. This really happened to me. I had no idea how to respond. But if I were really lucky to be dating him, he would have thought that he was the lucky one. Also, if you think someone is lucky to even be dating you - that's a bad sign. Just say goodbye now and make it easier on the both of you.
But really it's best not to mix business with pleasure here. Especially if by pleasure, you mean a entire week of dreading the event and keeping a little prayer in your heart that you'll end up violently ill, so that you have a good excuse to cancel.
Which is why I freaked out and ran when one date kept commenting on my eating habits - "Shrimp? You really shouldn't be eating seafood if you're planning on having a baby anytime soon." That was on our first (and last) date. Creeper.
It's also why I refused to date one of my guy friends who kept making comments in front of all our friends about how I'd be an awesome mother one day, any time anything even slightly related to children popped up in a conversation. It was awkward.
A guy actually said that to me, and he wasn't the first (or last) to try to make me feel sorry for him before asking me out. The worst part? I sometimes said yes, because I felt bad and didn't want to hurt their feelings. Don't worry girls - chances are he uses the same stories on every girl he's chasing.
If you want to say "Yes" and go out with these guys, more power to you! I just wish I hadn't felt obligated to date them. Just saying "No" would have saved me from a lot or headaches and lame Friday nights.
I should have just said:
Let's just sum it up for the day ladies:
I wrote this post with your blog in mind Autumn... :)
Sharing time! Have you ever dated a guy just because you felt sorry for him or because for one reason or another you just couldn't say no? Please share your stories. I'd love to hear!
P.s. Did you read/write a funny post this week? Make sure you link it up for Friday Funnies!
Friends, you should "no" whenever you feel like it. It took me a long time and several scarring experiences to figure it out. This saves you both from wasting time and money. Afraid of hurting his feelings? Trust me - If he reacts badly now, things aren't going to be any prettier when you reject him later, after you've given him a bit of false hope.
Here are a few guys you should never feel guilty about saying "no" to.
Confession: I've said yes to all of them at some point.
Someone you're not physically attracted to.
Not really sure if he's your type? Not a problem! Maybe he'll win you over with his amazing personality.
The idea of kissing him makes you want to throw up a little? Big Problem! Chances are pretty much zero that he's going to change your mind and look like Brad Pitt after a dinner out.
{via} |
Any guy who tells you that you should be grateful he's asking you out.
Pig alert. This really happened to me. I had no idea how to respond. But if I were really lucky to be dating him, he would have thought that he was the lucky one. Also, if you think someone is lucky to even be dating you - that's a bad sign. Just say goodbye now and make it easier on the both of you.
Your dad's business client
You might be tempted to say yes, because hey it's just a date - no big deal. Plus your dad's definitely encouraging you. Need to keep the clients happy!
But really it's best not to mix business with pleasure here. Especially if by pleasure, you mean a entire week of dreading the event and keeping a little prayer in your heart that you'll end up violently ill, so that you have a good excuse to cancel.
Anyone who makes frequent comments about your fertility.
For some reason, a lot of guys who chased me in college were the commitment type. Ring chasing, baby hungry, crazy men. I was 18 and wasn't even ready to commit to the idea of a boyfriend yet.
Which is why I freaked out and ran when one date kept commenting on my eating habits - "Shrimp? You really shouldn't be eating seafood if you're planning on having a baby anytime soon." That was on our first (and last) date. Creeper.
It's also why I refused to date one of my guy friends who kept making comments in front of all our friends about how I'd be an awesome mother one day, any time anything even slightly related to children popped up in a conversation. It was awkward.
The guy who reels you in with pity.
"You know my dad killed himself when I was a kid, and my mother doesn't love me. I feel like nothing ever goes right in my life. It's just sadness and rejection after sadness and rejection. All I want it for a nice girl to accept me.... Would you go out with me?" A guy actually said that to me, and he wasn't the first (or last) to try to make me feel sorry for him before asking me out. The worst part? I sometimes said yes, because I felt bad and didn't want to hurt their feelings. Don't worry girls - chances are he uses the same stories on every girl he's chasing.
If you want to say "Yes" and go out with these guys, more power to you! I just wish I hadn't felt obligated to date them. Just saying "No" would have saved me from a lot or headaches and lame Friday nights.
I should have just said:
Let's just sum it up for the day ladies:
Sharing time! Have you ever dated a guy just because you felt sorry for him or because for one reason or another you just couldn't say no? Please share your stories. I'd love to hear!
P.s. Did you read/write a funny post this week? Make sure you link it up for Friday Funnies!
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