30 May 2013

That Time I Almost Got Kidnapped

When I was in college, I was a creeper magnet. It got pretty intense. I even wrote an article here, not too long ago, about the different types of creeper. Now don't get me wrong. Sometimes a guy is just really enthusiastic. He really likes you, and lacks the social skills to tell you about it in a normal way. Those guys aren't real creepers (though girls like to call them that). They just aren't getting any dates...  Let's be nicer to those guys and just call them awkward.

someecards.com - We met thanks to him randomly sending me creepy Facebook messages and we've been madly in love ever since. Said no woman ever.

I'm talking about real creepers today. The kind that give you the vibe that they are about to go all Ted Bundy on you, or who say things that are just completely socially inappropriate no matter how nervous/dorky you are. Example? The guy who sat down next to me in a class, introduced himself, and then immediately asked how I felt about m*st*rb*tion. (that got a lot of asterisks because I don't want to disappoint people who stumble across my blog through that kind of Google search)



This guy? He's probably just an idiot. Not an actual creeper.
{via}

Unfortunately, I sure that every lady reading this blog knows what I'm talking about.

Fortunately, there are ways to tone down the creeper factor in your life. Since finishing college, I've lost weight and gotten cuter, yet I get hit on way less. Why? Because I'm working on making myself less of a target. I have friends that are way, way prettier than I am, who don't have this problem. My theory is that the rate you get creeped on is a combination of bad luck and the way you carry yourself in the situation. Practice your scary face if you have to.

{via}
Let's just analyse the following situation shall we? Sure, the guy was a super creeper, but look at all the stupid stuff I did to aggravate the situation.


The Almost Catastrophe 

I'm walking down the street, in a super conservative skirt/blouse combo, heading off to church. A kind looking old man (he was probably 50 something - my mom would kill me for calling him old) decided to strike up a conversation.

Old Man: Where are you going young lady, dressed all fancy like that? Smiles

Me: I'm going to church. I smile back. He seems nice. Probably harmless.

Old Man: Oh. I thought you were going to a night club dressed all pretty in that little skirt. It's 8:30 am. Obviously no night clubs are open. I'm starting to get creeper vibes.

Me: Nope, just going to church. He grabs my arm. Luckily, we're in an open street with several other passerbys & open businesses.

Old Man: How nice! Which church do you go to?

Me: I tell him. I'm clearly an idiot and way too naive. He's still holding my arm

Old Man: Oh, I know where it is! I'm passing by there. I can drive you. Come on into my car! Oldest kidnapping line in the book. He's starts tugging at my arm so that I'll get into his car.

Me: No I don't even know you. I'm not getting in your car. I'm not being nice anymore and I try to raise my voice so that the other people in street can see hear.

Old Man: Still holding my arm. You have to learn to trust people in this world. You can't just assume everybody's a bad guy. You have to be more trusting!

Me: Loudly. No, I don't. Let go of my arm.

He let me go, and I hopped on a bus. No more walking solo for Patricia! I made sure that someone escorted me to and from church every Sunday after that.

I realized afterwards that I could have avoided the whole thing if I'd just never responded to Old Man in the first place. But I'm was a naive young girl, who came from an itty-bitty town in Po-dunk, Nevada, where it's really rude not to respond to old people when they try to talk to you.

Lesson learned. Do not talk to strangers. Act like they don't even exist, and make sure you stay in areas that are surrounded by people until the person bothering you is long gone. Also, if you have sons, make sure you raise them to not be creepers.

Do any of you have tips for avoiding scary people? Anybody have a story similar to this.

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