31 May 2013

5 Horrible Reasons that I Want Children

1. I want to dress them up in horribly embarrassing, cute little outfits. 

(Think glitter, tutus, mini bow-ties, dinosaurs, etc.)

I'm going to be that mom and I blame Pinterest & Zulily for my baby hunger. I want my own little munchkin to dress up multiple times a day, take embarrassing pictures of, and force into this monkey costume on Halloween. Not really sure how I feel about blasting those photos all over the internet though. Hmm.... to be decided at a later date.




2. Kids say the things I'm thinking, but am too polite to say.

I know it can be embarrassing, but let's be honest - mostly it's just funny. It can also be a relief to everyone else in the room when your kid tells you the mashed potatoes you made taste like soap. Embarrassing? Sure. But not as embarrassing as making your guests suffer through a large heaping of Ivory Soap flavored spuds.



3. People might start asking us to do stuff less.

When you're newly married and have no children, people assume you have tons of free time. We are constantly asked to volunteer for things. Think of all the things people ask you to do when your single. Now double that. If one of you gets asked, you both get to do it. People looking for volunteers call this "killing to birds with one stone."

As soon as you've got munchkins, you've got a great excuse not to waste your entire Saturday buy the ingredients, cook, and serve a four course dinner for a group of elderly people. There's no way you'd have the time. If you detected a hint of bitterness in my voice - you are correct. We recently got taken advantage of big time.

Plus, turns out it was a role play dinner, and we were her servants. She decided that this meant it was okay to scold us in front of everyone when the dinner didn't come out fast enough, and make frequent comments throughout the evening about how incompetent we were to the guests. FYI - it is never ok to treat people who are doing you a favor like dirt.

Guess what I'm saying the next time she asks us to do her a "little" favor?


{via}
This is because I don't swear. If I swore, I'd have a few choice words for this lady - and she would have already heard them.



4. People will stop asking us when we're planning on having children.

There is no right answer to this question. No matter what you say, someone will have some unsolicited advice to offer. Oh...your waiting? Don't you know there are tons of couples that would do anything to have children? You have the opportunity and you're not even grateful for it. There are things more important than your career. Oh... your hoping to start trying soon? Aren't you a little young to have kids? You should try to get a more established career first. And blahblahblah blah blah.

But most importantly, it's no one's business, except you and your partner's.




5. Little kid food is the best.

Mac & Cheese, Dino nuggets, PB & J's. I love that crap so much. Granted, they don't have any of this in France. I'm still introducing people here to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which isn't going too well. Most Frenchies think it sounds disgusting and they won't even try. Their loss.

This is what I look like when I find out my mom has sent me Mac & Cheese in the mail:


When I remember it’s Friday and not Thursday.
{via}

I get pretty freakin' excited. Think about how motivated she'd be to send me us Mac & Cheese if I made her a grandbaby!

I kid. I kid.
.......................
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