A Few Hard Truths

This is the offensive post. Some of you are not going to agree with me and you might even get your feelings hurt. But that's okay - tell me about it in the comments below. I don't mind if you don't agree at all.

I love studying psychology and observing human behavior. Mostly I study the people around me. My husband jokes that he's afraid I'm psychoanalyzing him sometimes. He doesn't realize how his little joke is right on the money. Honey, that's not your imagination. I'm studying you like anthropologist.

You can learn some pretty fun stuff just by observing the actions and reactions of people that you know. I wanted to share a few lessons today about things I've learned over the last few years, things that have stayed the same no matter what side of the Atlantic I'm on. I'm also sharing a few pet peeves.

Selfishness: A trait that we hate in other people, but justify in ourselves.

1. Stop thinking people are jealous of you.

Maybe they are. But does that really make a difference in your life? It doesn't matter at all.

I sometimes tell myself this, so that I feel better when people are mean to me. However, the truth is that some people just don't like you, and they can be pretty vocal about it. You might be the coolest, most fantastic girl ever according to your mom. But you will undoubtedly just rub some people the wrong way. That's life.

2. No one thinks about you as much as you think about yourself.

Not even your mom. So relax a little.

3. People are thinking about themselves way more than they are thinking about you.

Unless they are obsessive stalkers, or madly in love with you. But average, relatively normal people only care about you a medium amount. Mostly they are thinking about themselves and just sometimes about you. By the way, they really don't care if you look better in that yellow shirt, or that red shirt. If you're not trying to look extra fabulous for just yourself, then you're probably wasting your time sweating over the decision. Their thinking about their outfit - so compliment them on it. You'll win points.

4. Very few people are trying to hurt you on purpose.

And even if they are, Person X probably wasn't thinking at all about how he'd hurt you went he said "insert heartbreaking statement of choice here." He was probably only thinking of himself. Sometimes recognizing this hurts even more.

If you've ever heard yourself say, "How could you do this to me?" Remember, the person probably didn't do anything to you on purpose. There's a pretty good chance that he wasn't even thinking about you while he did it. He was doing it for himself.

I also recognize that there actually people out there that just want to ruin other people's lives. But if you look closely, their motives are always selfish. Even when it's all about tormenting you, it's really about them.

Plus, who has time for that crap? People with boring personal lives. Just be sad for this person and the fact that their life is so pathetic and move on. I repeat it's not about you. If you don't act like you're letting it get to you, they tend to get bored really quickly.

5. Making yourself seem cooler won't make anyone like you more.

People like you more when you make them look/feel cooler. Now I know that you're all thinking of that nasty girl in high school that spent her time tearing other people down, but still had tons of friends. Did people hang out with her because she was an awesome person & they just loved her? No. They wanted to hang out with her because she was powerful, and they thought being with her would make them look cooler.

Why not be the girl that everyone loves, because they feel so awesome in your presence? Put the people around you at ease. Make them laugh. Genuinely compliment people, and make them feel good about themselves. Make people feel like you really value them. You'll seem cooler and your friends won't want to stab you in the back! It's a win-win situation.

What do you think? Have your experiences been different? Even if you completely disagree and think I'm nutters, let me know. Maybe I'm completely off base here. I would actually love for someone to convince me that I'm wrong about this.


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