10 April 2013

Missing My Girl Friends

Today's been a bit of a rough day. 

I know some great people in France, and I have quite a few friends here - people I could count on in an emergency. I'm really grateful for that. I promise. But they are also people that I would probably only call in an emergency, and visa versa. They're lovely people and would help out in a minute. But there's no way I'd feel comfortable calling them up to see if they want to come over so we can paint each others nails and bake cupcakes. I don't even have a shopping buddy.  

someecards.com - We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

I just want my friends back. Back in the states, there are at least 10 girls I can think of off the top of my head that I wouldn't hesitate calling - even if it was just to catch up and talk nothing in particular. 



I've tried to make girlfriends here, but we never get passed that luke-warm friend phase. You know where you both think the other is a cool person, but you don't know anything too personal and you wouldn't call her up out of the blue?

I'm sure things will start looking up soon. Maybe when I start school or a job and I'm in a better environment to meet people? But in the mean time I want to send lots of love and a big thank you to all the awesome friends who've kept in touch and the awesome girls I've met who send encouraging messages. 

It helps. A lot.

Bisous!

8 comments:

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I have some pretty amazing girlfriends back home, and it's hard making that amazing connection with people here...especially since 99.9% of them are just passing through.

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  2. I have been in this stage since I graduated high school. I don't know what it is about making new non-lukewarm friends but it's so hard!

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    1. I wish I knew what the secret was. I made a couple of really good friends in University, but most of the girls that I'm still really close with I met in high school. I feel like during your twenties, everyone is in a period of transition. You don't know how long they're going to be around for, so no one gets too close. Maybe? This is my current theory. If anyone figures it out, let me know please!

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  3. I'm a little behind. So why are you out of the states? Maybe your luck will change and go in your favor. But for now just enjoy the "ME" time or try to. Friends are hard to find now a days. Take it from someone who stays sorta to herself b/c of how people are. I'd rather have guy friends b/c of how girls are so catty now a days.

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    1. I'm living in France. I met my husband while I was over here on a study abroad. He French and doesn't speak very much English at all, so we ended up staying here. I really love the country, but some days I still have a little bit of trouble adapting. I agree that certain girl's are really catty and not worth seeking out as friends. However, I've been lucky enough in the past to always have a small group of girlfriends that I can really confide in. Sometimes, I just wish I could ship them over to France, so that we could hang out.

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  4. I'm sorry to hear that. :( I remember when I was living in the countryside and I was often friends with people out of circumstance (because we were the only foreigners in town for example). Not that they weren't perfectly lovely people, just that they weren't people I necessarily would have been friends with back home. Though maybe I had the opposite problem - they were people I could call for a drink or a movie, but not people I felt comfortable calling in an emergency or when I had serious things to talk about.

    I feel so lucky to be in Paris now, where expats are a dime a dozen and it is so much easier to find people to connect with on a personal level. Plus there are also more people in the same situation as me - early 30's, working, married to a Frenchman, been in France for a while. Whereas in the countryside, a lot of the people were students or recent grads teaching English, and only around for 7-9 months, so every year I would have to start all over again.

    But that's where blogging came in for me - I've made some really great friends living all over France, and they were able to support me on my down days, probably because they'd all lived through it themselves. I'm kind of rambling here, but I guess I just wanted to say that it is normal to be feeling this way, and I hope one day you'll have a similar circle of friends here too. In the mean time, thank God for the internet and free calls to the US!

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  5. I totally hear you! I've met really nice people here, but haven't connected with anyone on that personal level. That level where you can plan to 'hang out' but have no actual plans at all, or if you're in their neighbourhood you just call and pop in for tea, wine, whatever... those are the friends I miss deeply. The ones you want to unwind with on Friday...

    Someone once used the analogy of shopping at outlet malls to describe finding new friends... you have to weed through a lot of junk to find a keeper. That's how I think of the friend search.

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  6. Since being in Sweden I have not made a friend that is all mine, I have friends via my husband is friends with them from school but I would not call to invite them over it would have to be him. It is hard but Skyping with friends and family always helps me and sometimes I just force my husband to do girly things!

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I'd love to know what you think!